Focus On The Rainbow

This past weekend CNN aired the documentary “Her Name Was Steven” about Steven Stanton, now Susan, who came to terms with being transgender and the consequences which can often happen when someone becomes true to oneself.

Whether transgender, bi, gay or lesbian it is not as easy a choice as some would say to “come out”. Anyone who has followed any of my blogs, be it the current and popular Focus On The Rainbow at Hearst Newspapers or various LGBT blogs which I have published albeit which are no longer active in favor of concentrating on the Focus On The Rainbow blogs, know that one of my pet peeves in our community is those who fault others for not being out, anti-gay conservatives not withstanding.

For many, particularly those who are in a heterosexual marriage and often with children, the thought of coming to terms with who they are and being out is not only troubling but can cause one to lose employment, family and friends.

The same holds true to members of the media, entertainers, sports figures and the like who often have not only more of a monetary aspect to lose than average folks but also jeopardizing a long and hard earned career.

So does it mean those who decide to stay in the closet are cowards as some would say as opposed to those who are out ? Certainly not in my book. And quite frankly I don’t have much use for those who think that way nor those who say someone should be out to be a role model to others.

It’s a personal choice, no one owes anyone to be a role model. No one owes anyone to be out in the scrutiny of the public eye, their local community nor workplace. They need not throw caution to the wind at the expense of family and friends. To think otherwise shows a complete lack of respect for another person, something this community screams about when anti-gays come at us. Before they open their mouth and criticize another, they should look in the mirror and see if the words anti-gay gay is scrawled across their forehead.

I firmly believe as generations die off, my generation of boomers included, the LGBT community will become more accepted and the day will come when it doesn’t matter what you are but who you are.

Until such time those who find fault with others for not being out save your condemnation for those who are against us and not the part of us who sit on the sidelines in silence.

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